Honestly, this may just be a bunch of ramblings and possibly even boring for my 'readers' so you can skip and ignore it... or read if you
really wanna.!
With all of the birthdays going on the past couple of weeks, and after reading my friends blog post about her
upcomming 23rd birthday I've been deep in thought about 'age' and life.. my life.
I know I've said this to many of my friends and when I do it may sound like something small or silly, but I really don't think it is myself... What is this you may be wondering..? I'm going to tell you now..
First off, the fact that I am turning
24yrs old! in just a few weeks now is mind boggling to me! How did I come to be 24yrs old, and where in the world have the last 24yrs of my life gone..?? Aside from that, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be married, living in WA! and a mother...
Yes. I, like most girls fantacized about my future husband and getting married and having children, but it wasn't something I thought would ever be REAL for me. Why? I dunno..
If you haven't figured out by now, I am a 'live by the moment, one day at a time, whatever comes next' kind of person. What will I be doing a year from now? I have no idea.. what will I be doing this weekend.? yah, I don't know.. I have 3 potential plans and ideas of what to do this weekend, and it's likely I wont do any 3 of those and might even do a 4th thing that comes up randomly.
I guess you could say that I have a "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never no what your gonna get" mentality. It's hard to plan anything to far in advanced for me because I feel like anything at anytime, any moment, can happen to completely change those plans.
Back to the age thing... Like I said, I can't believe I am going to be 24 soon. I honestly feel like I should still be 18yrs old, graduating highschool, getting ready to pack up and move out on my own to UT...
24 sounds
old to me. I'm already thinking about how much closer that bring me to 30!! then before you know it I will be 80yrs old and possibly nearing my death bed!
Maybe I'm just crazy, but age.. my age in particular really bothers me.
I feel like life has happened and passed my by and I don't know where it went! What am I doing? What will I accomplish? What will I make of this time here on earth?
I feel like I should be out doing something big.. like I should be out in Africa or some thirdworld country rescuing all of the poor little orphaned babies and children. (yes, a dream of mine would be to adopt a child from a third world country!!)
I understand that there is lots of preparing for us to do in order to do such a thing..
What do I do in the mean time? Go back to college and get a better education.. a degree, pull out and master my guitar and percussion? (not for fame, but as a home activity with Hyrum and future children, for fun) become the average 'mormon mom' and start doing arts and crafts and sewing, and dedicating every waking moment of my spare time to raising Hyrum (and furute children) to be the best human beings they can possibly be.??
The idea of getting my health in check and popping out 5 more babies right in a row and getting the child reering/birthing, part of my life started sound appealing.. I love being home with Hyrum but I sometimes don't feel like that is enough for me!
Maybe I am doing enough and doing great.. but, 'enough' doesn't seem to be pleasing me lately.. I want MORE than enough..
So.. What do I do..? Where do I start.?
Time to sit down and make a list.. goals.. a plan.. and get busy!!