I've started and stopped this post several times over the last two years. It's finally bugging me that I haven't completed it, so here I go.
You'll have to bare with me. I've been back and forth as to how I wanted to share this story, how much or how little detail I wanted to share, which is what has had me hung up on it for so long. I've decided to share it exactly as I remember, so this may be lengthy and possibly a bit boring in parts. This is for my memory and for Bennett in the future.
~Bennett's Birth~
On Tuesday February 2nd I was scheduled to have a weekly checkup with my OBGYN, Dr. Shelton.
Ricky got off of work early and came home at lunch time to take care of the kids and run some errands while I went into Houston.
I was 38.2wks pregnant and was absolutely beyond miserable. I had reached a point where I figured the baby was going to wait and not decide to come until at least a week past the due date. (
That was grumpy, emotional, pregnant me.) So, on this particular day, I decided that I would leave all of my hospital bags at home that I had packed and had ready for when it was 'go' time. I told myself that I would be coming right back home and mostly just really didn't want to get my hopes up.
I left home just before 1pm to make it to my 1:40pm appointment. Shortly after making my way onto I10, I hit traffic. There wasn't usually traffic at this time of day so I exited and drove along the feeder road to see if I could get past or ahead of most of it. After driving past a few exits I found the source of the traffic and was able to get back on the highway and make my way downtown.
(an over sized load, lost its load)
I'm not sure why I actually took a picture of this...I suppose someone knew I'd have a story to tell.
I finally make it to the office in time, check in, and sit and wait in the waiting area. I remember posting to facebook about the incident on I10 incase I had any family or friends needing to come that direction.
I was called back for my appointment and go through all of the routine things you go through at this stage in pregnancy; pee in a cup, undress from the waist down and cover up with a paper blanket while I wait for the doctor to come in.
When the nurse took my blood pressure, it was running high. My doctor came in, we chatted, he checked and measured me then rechecked my blood pressure which was still running significantly high. He checked my urine sample and with the combination of the high blood pressure and the results of my urine sample we decided it was time to get baby out.
I was sent next door to the Women's Hospital of Texas to get checked in and ready for induction right away. Of course I sent a load of text messages letting everyone know what was happening and called Ricky so he could get the kids out of school and situated and make his way up to the hospital to be with me. I'm sure I also called my mom a few times because you can't have a baby without your mama by your side. Also, I needed to make sure Ricky was staying calm and not forgetting to grab certain bags and things from the house before heading up.
I remember the walk through the hospital to get checked in felt so weird to me. With my previous pregnancies, I'd gone into labor on my own and it was always the middle of the night or super early in the morning and I always had Ricky by my side from the beginning.
I got to the check in desk and was placed in a small waiting area while they finished preparing my room then the nurse came to get me.
I started the game of answering 1,000 questions all the while giving another urine sample, getting naked and in my robe and into the bed to get hooked up.
My friend, Carla showed up during all of this, thank goodness. There is nothing like awkward humor and a good friend to help pass the time.
Carla is an RN and came strait from work so I think her presence intimidated my labor nurse a tad.
I remember Dr. Shelton coming in shortly after to talk about the process, I introduced him to Carla because he looked confused for a split second as to who she was. (it was kinda funny) Before he left the room he asked if I had any more questions. I awkwardly asked him when I could get my tubes tied. He assured me I could have that done the next morning after giving birth.
I wont bore you with step by step details after this point. Ricky and my mom showed up along with our oldest son, Hyrum. Hyrum was present for the birth of Adalyn and Ricky thought it would be fun for him to be at Bennett's birth as well. My friend Jessica also came to visit me for a bit before it got late and her and Carla left to head home.
At some point, once I was all hooked up and started on the pitocin, Dr. Shelton came in to go over again why we were doing the induction and to discuss everything and what the plan would be. I'm not sure if he was joking but he gave me the option of even going home and coming back every day or so to check my blood pressure. No way in heck was I going home at that point. I wanted my baby out and little did we know, Bennett wanted out as well.
The evening progressed semi slowly. I had normal to low blood pressure for the rest of the evening. I also remember having a horrid headache and I just could not get comfortable to take a nap because of it. They also came in and repositioned me it seemed like every 5min, trying to find Bennett's heart beat on the monitor.
Thankfully, Hyrum got cozy on the couch and fell asleep and ended up sleeping through the entire thing.
Fast forward a few hours and it was go time. I want to say it was around 2am. The nurses paged my doctor. Once he arrived in the room the first thing he said was "Is that mom or baby?" The nurses answered that it was baby. His heart rate would plummet with each contraction at this point.
The next few minutes were a little blurry but before I knew it, I was pushing. I don't remember how long I pushed. I want to say it took just a few pushes and he was out. It was really fast. I waited for them to place Bennett on my chest but he was given to the nurses instead and they took him over to the baby bed. Ricky and I didn't know why or what was going on. The room was silent and at the same time filled with panic and wonder.
Ricky and I kept looking at each other then over to the baby then we'd look at each other again and Ricky would shrug his shoulders. Nobody said a word and I couldn't ask what was wrong. I was just waiting for my baby to be given to me like normal, like he was supposed to have been, like all of my previous other babies.
I'd heard them ask where the NICU dr was and to page him again. I'm sure it all happened so fast. Before long, the neonatologist entered the room and the first words out of his mouth were "is there a heart beat?" and before I knew it, he grabbed up baby Bennett and started running down the hallway with him. Ricky followed.
I was left laying there with silence. My mom knew something was wrong but didn't know what was going on, my doctor was busy working on me and delivering the placenta and whatever else needed to be done.
My mom stepped back and sat down, I eventually just threw my arm over my eyes and started crying. Still, know answers or words to tell me what was happening to my baby. Eventually, my mom asked me if I'd like her to go check on baby for me. I said yes and she left to find him. She took a quick pic on her phone of Bennett and brought it back for me to see.
This was the first pic and first time I saw Bennett.
They had taken him to a special room to stabilize him. His heart beat was faint and he was struggling to breath on his own.
It may seem as though I'm skipping information at this point but I didn't have the information myself yet to share, and some of the info I didn't learn until he was discharged and I read his forms. So bare with me.
Ricky came back to me and the neonatologist, Dr. Owais Khan, came in to speak with us. He tried to explain everything that had happened and what was going on and the course of treatment from that point.
By this time we had learned that my placenta had started to seperate early, not sure when or for how long, there were no signs or symptoms of it until I gave birth and there were large blood clots that came out with/after the placenta. The umbilical cord was also wrapped tightly around his neck and body. He also suffered a collapsed lung and needed a chest tube placed.
This means he had been deprived of oxygen but it was uncertain for how long. They said he had Hypoxic-Ischemic Encephalopathy. Because of this, the neonatologist decided it would be best to put Bennett on what's called Whole Body Cooling.
This process puts the body/brain to rest by lowering the core body temp. a few degrees for a 72hr period then they slowly warm the body back up.
Now, I'm not a doctor and it's been a while so you'll have to look it up if you'd like a better understanding of the Whole Body Cooling process, but it was my understanding that this process was/is used to stop brain damage or any further brain damage from happening.
Once Benney was stable and my room was ready on the post partum unit, the nurse wheeled my bed into the NICU so I could get a look at my sweet baby with my own eyes. I wasn't able to touch him and all I wanted was to pick him up and hold him.
I got settled in my room and started the process of pumping to help my milk come in. I wasn't going to be able to hold or touch my boy for at least 3 days (even this was uncertain) but what I could do was pump my heart out to produce whatever amount of milk possible to feed him when that time came.
My milk took no time coming in.
I got a little rest after sending a text message and making a facebook status update that my baby had arrived but that I was unable to see or touch him due to complications.
Later that morning, I want to say around 9:30am, I was prepped to go to surgery to have my tubal ligation done because Ricky and I decided our family would be complete after having Bennett. Surgery went well and as planned. Dr. Shelton did an awesome job and my scars are well hidden in my belly button.
This next part of the story is harder to tell. I didn't keep a NICU daily journal but I can highlight the major milestones and events that came next.
It wasn't until later in the evening that day that Ricky was able to wheel me down to see Bennett and actually spend some time with him. Because of his circumstances, we weren't able to do a lot of talking and touching because they wanted to keep any and all stimulation to a bare minimum to protect him and his brain in the healing process.
I remember being an emotional mess and not wanting company but we had my uncle Tim and Mark Varnado come and help give our precious boy a priesthood blessing.
I wasn't present for the blessing but I imagine it was perfect and sweet and exactly what our Benney boy needed at that time.
The next day, day 2, we learned that Bennett had suffered a seizure during the night and would be on continuous brain monitoring.
On day two, my parents brought the kiddos up to the hospital to visit me. They had a hard time understanding where their baby brother was and why they couldn't see him.
I stayed in the hospital for 4 days. Three days under my doctors care and one night was spent in a room that the hospital had reserved for parents of NICU babies. I forget the correct term used for the room but I was able to stay and be with Bennett an extra night. I could have stayed more but needed to get back home to the rest of my babies and spend some time with them as well.
Benney's 72hrs of whole body cooling came to an end with success and no hiccups that I remember. I just remember how excited I was to finally get to cuddle and hold my baby for the first time. We captured the moment on video.
from
Laurie Leiser on
Vimeo.
Ricky's first time holding Bennett
Bennett's recovery was mostly smooth sailing from this point on. He did get jaundiced and have to be put under a special blue light blanket for 24hrs or so. He also got an infection on the back of his head that had to be treated from laying on those probes for so long. He still to this day has a bald spot on his head that will never grow hair from it.
Our biggest struggle was feeding and weight gain. All of his follow up testing for seizures and brain function were perfectly fine and normal. He was meeting normal baby milestones.
They had him on a strict schedule in the NICU. Feedings every 3hrs of certain amounts. He had to finish the bottle on his own under a certain amount of time then the rest would be fed through the tube. Getting him to finish his bottles like they wanted and required before he could leave the hospital would prove to be our biggest challenge.
In all, Bennett was in the NICU for 17days. It seriously felt like an eternity and I'd find myself frustrated and crying each day we would hear from the doctor and weren't able to bring him home. He seemed so perfect and normal but the only thing holding him back was feedings.
he finally got his feeding tube out
Late afternoon on Feb. 19th, we were finally able to bring our boy home.
headed to the car!
The kids never did end up getting to see or visit Bennett while in the hospital because it was flu season and the kids were too young at this point.
They sure were excited to finally meet their baby brother.
Things went well once we were home. He had lots of follow up appointments with his doctor and neurologist and whoever else. He was also on a lot of medications that all needed to be taken at certain times, so I lived by an alarm clock.
Benney mostly kept his NICU schedule upon coming home which was nice and predictable with every 3hr feedings and such.
He has continued to grow and progress and surpass any and all milestones placed before him.
Bennett boy is perfect in any and every way. He is turning two now and is the happiest, silliest, sweetest, most smart little boy you will ever meet. He is starting to speak in complete sentences at times and is currently trying to potty train himself.
We couldn't have asked for a more perfect child despite his rough beginning.
We love him so much. He made our family and our hearts complete.
