Do You REALLY Want to Know?

Just so we are all on the same page for those of you who are on facebook or hear by word of mouth that I am having certain medical problems at the moment.

Here is my blog to all so nothing is lost in translation.

I will start with the most recent of events to spare everyone a long 'read.'

For those of you are are easily grossed out and get queasy just by reading gross things or about blood, exit this web browser immediately.

For those of you who are left and still hear reading, here it is;

!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! THE LAST PHOTO (NUMBER 6) IS NOT TO BE VIEWED BY THE EASILY QUEASY!!!!!!!!!! so make sure to count.

About a month and a half ago I started to notice bleeding with my bowl movements. Ok, no biggie, it has happened on and off over the last several years so when it happened just over a month ago I didn't pay a bunch of attention to it.

I always hear people blow things like that off saying it's fine it's just maybe a tare or hemorrhoids, no biggie.

A week later it happened again, and then again every week for the next month.

It really caught my attention after about the 3rd week but I still kept watching it and telling myself "ehh, it's nothing."

Plus, with someone as 'shy' as me, I want to be certain there is a problem before I bring it to the attention of others, even my doctor.

Who really wants to sit down and say "umm yah, so, I'm having anal/rectal bleeding.."?

Any way, with the increase in frequency I sent a little text to Kasey Cahan to see what she thought and she told me I needed to get it looked ASAP and possibly have a colonoscopy.

After I had this exchange with her I started having twice a day episodes of anal/rectal bleeding.

Monday I called the doc office and made an appointment to see Dr. Yoo. My appointment was made for Wednesday at 1:05pm.

By the time I made it to my doc. appointment with Dr. Yoo on Wednesday I had had 7 episodes of anal/rectal bleeding in 4days.

Don't you think that would be raising red flags at my doc. appointment and make you think it was something severe going on..? I thought so.. but I guess it didn't exactly go that way. Not sure what she was thinking.

At my appointment I told her about EVERY single episode of bleeding I have had and that I was up to 7 times since Sunday.. She put a glove on and did an anal exam.

In her exam she found no tearing in the area, she also found no sing of external or internal hemorrhoids. Dr. Yoo also did a stool guaiac test that came back positive for blood, that just says 'yes there is blood in the rectum.'

After coming up with no answers with what she was able to do in her office she sent a referral for me to see a stomach specialist at the UW in Seattle.

Apparently her referral wasn't 'urgent' and the doctors in Seattle decided that my case was a "see when next available." (I will come back to THAT part again at the end of this blog.)

I go home with no answers and thinking that I will be able to get in right away to see the specialist and have a colonoscopy to get answers so I can get this taken care of whatever it is.

And then....

I went about my evening as 'usual' except this time I was thinking "great, something is wrong and it's NOT one of the most typical cases like tearing or hemorrhoids, now what..??"

Before bedtime, I did my usual 'going to bed' activities, changing clothes, brushing teeth.. urinating...

After I finished 'urinating' I look down to discover that I am now having anal/rectal bleeding without the aid of bowl movements.. I sat down to urinate, and bled from my rectum..?

I officially started the "what the heck!?" Freaking out process..

I stayed up a little later, and it happened again.. I knew there must be something terribly wrong if I am bleeding like this freely without the help or aid of anything. Plus this bring my total up to 9 bleeding episodes in a 4/5 day time frame.

Instead of going to the hospital then, I went to sleep and in the morning I told Ricky about the new events and let him know that there was a possibility I would be needing to get back in to a doctor ASAP because of what I had experienced.. He asked if I needed him to stay home but I sent him on his way.

I did my usual stuff but with all of the internal freaking out.. I took Hyrum to his babysitter at 10am, then went to Highline and did an hour of step aerobics, went home, had lunch, went to the restroom and more bleeding.

This time I called my docs. office and let them know that I didn't think it would be wise for me to wait around for an appointment with a specialist because of how I was bleeding now without the aid of bowl movements.

The TWO people I talked to informed me that I should go to the UW ER. I called Ricky and let him know he needed to come home then I showered and we got things ready, dropped Hyrum off and headed to Seattle.

Here is my hospital buddy, watching some 'Swords' on Discovery.

Once I was finally taken to a room to get the process started of what I hoped meant getting some 'answers' seemed to move fairly quick.

The doctor seemed to be pretty good at what he was doing. He did take a very extensive and thorough history/medical history on me.

I even had some 'photos' on my phone that I had taken of a couple of my bleeding episodes that he was really interested in and thrilled to be able to view to see what it is I am experiencing.

Did I mention he only just turned 26yrs old about 2 weeks ago.?

Any way, they ordered blood work and checked all of my blood levels to see how much blood I am losing. Blood results came back good and I haven't lost too much blood so no blood infusions needed.

At the beginning he told me that all he was going to be able to do was another rectal exam much like what I already had done the day before with Dr. Yoo, because if isn't possible to come in to the ER and get a colonoscopy. (I knew that part) But it was still a little disappointing.

After leaving to consult with the head doctor overseeing him and the ER that night, he returned and told me that he was going to be able to do a little more than just a rectal exam.

I forget what this particular exam is called but it allows them to look inside the anal/rectal/mucosa area with a scope and light. Nothing that you have to be put to sleep for but not very comfortable.

He came came back and dropped off this kit in my room and went back out to wait for the head doctor to be available to come and watch and assist him in this procedure.

After my doctor got instruction, they lubed the toll up nice and good and have me lay on my side..

They started the procedure and started looking around.. Again, no sign of hemorrhoids. I hear the doc. tell the other doc. that he can see some 'spots.' The female doctor bends down to take a look and things seems to start going in slow motions at this point by her response.

It sounded concerning to me.. When she bent over to look her response at first sight was "Oooooh yeeaaahh, I see."

So, they found something. Good news I though, I might finally get some more answers. But I was wrong.

All they could tell me was that they see lots of inflamed 'spots.' They wouldn't give these things a name, just kept calling them 'spots.' And they confirmed that they do definitely see signs of bleeding but its not 'activley' bleeding meaning a steady constant flow of blood.

After this procedure, they tell me I can go ahead and start getting dressed and are going to draw up some discharge papers.

When the doctor came back in to talk to me again about the 'findings' and my discharge he said that the definite next step for me is a complete colonoscopy with biopsies of the 'spots' and whatever else they may find if they find anything else further up and throughout my colon.

He proceeded to tell me to come back if I start vomiting or bleeding a cup of blood within 24hrs or "notice anything out of the ordinary"....

I look at him and say "Umm.. Well, I came in because I thought all of THIS was out of the ordinary and even it didn't get me anywhere."

He looks at me and says "Do you have any questions..? you look pretty disappointed?" my dry response. "Yeah I have questions but they aren't any that YOU can answer."

He apologizes, goes over things once more, says he was happy to meet Ricky and I, and sends us on our way back home.

He said they would send another referral for me to the GI Specialist floor.. I thought maybe it would be easier to get in for the colonoscopy now that I have been seen in the ER and they know that I have things inside of me that need to be looked at and biopsied..

I called the number I was given for the GI Specialist to try and get an appointment set up and while on the phone, the lady tells me that the only referral they have for me is from my Primary Care Physician Dr. Yoo who I saw on Wednesday and that based off of her referral alone, the Specialist has decided that my case is a "see when next available" case..

I guess the referral from Dr. Yoo wasn't put through as 'urgent.'

Then the receptionist tells me that the Specialists are book through to the end of August and that I can't come in for a consult until September sometime and that they aren't even currently scheduling out that far yet and I would need to call back in a week to set the appointment...

I start freaking out and becoming emotional because I don't want to wait 2 1/2 months just to get in for a freakin consult!!

I tell the lady on the phone that I was seen there at UW last night in the ER and that the ER doctor was supposed to send up another referral and if that is going to change anything.

She tells me "sorry, no it wont change anything unless/until we receive a personal referral from the ER to take another look at your case, after getting the referral you still have to wait for the specialist to review the file yadi yadi yada." I say bye and hang up.

I talk to her again later and ask if they have yet received the referral from the ER, she says no, then I ask her if she can pull up my record and view it on the computer. She tells me no, the ER needs to send her a fax or something...

(I know for a fact that UW clinics and hospitals are all linked to the same system and ANYBODY within the UW network can type my name into the computer and pull up my complete file and history, and because of this, that is why my UW primary care physician sends me to clinics and doctors from UW and Harborview anywhere between Federal Way, and Seattle, because at each office, they can pull up my file in the computer took at the referrals and get any information they need.)

I get off of the phone and call Ricky and ask him if he can call the ER to have them send the file and referral up to the GI floor because I was out running errands and didn't have any of the papers with me.

I get home and Ricky tells me about his phone conversation with the person he talked to in the ER and the ER lady told Ricky "The file has been sent and the notes for the GI Specialist have been made, they just need to pull up her account and go to the file and open up the little folder to view it."

seriously..??

Any way, I got no where with UW today.. So as of right now I do not have a current appointment made to see a Specialist and I am no where near getting this much needed colonoscopy..

I'm burnt out and frustrated about all of the phone calls and don't know what to do now.

My thoughts are all back and forth and mixed up about everything... I have a power of telling myself that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and that maybe MY situation really isn't a big deal. I'm good at pushing things to the side because I think so much about everything that I start to tell myself it's just silly and maybe I don't really need the help or medical attention..

Weird huh..?

Right now I just don't know.. I have not been through medical school, I do not have a medical degree or license and I am no GI Specialist. Is my situation a big deal or major case? I don't know.

Is it something simple that is going to be an easy fix or something that will go away on it's own.? I don't know.

I feel like if I hassle everybody and make a huge deal about my situation to get in ASAP that it will turn out to be 'nothing big' or too serious, and I would have done all of that 'fighting' for 'nothing.'

but then again it wont really be for 'nothing' because I will have answers and will no for sure what is going on or not going on, if I need some serious treatment, or no treatment, and can rest my mind having answers and knowing what is or isn't going on inside of my body.

Welcome to the world that is my complicated, mixed up, frustrating, drive me crazy, thought process.

That is what is currently going on with me medically for all of you who have been asking.. bottom line, I have no answers, I can only say what is happening to me and going on..

I'm curious about the 'spots' the doctors wouldn't or couldn't name that they know need to be biopsied..

I can't sit down and google "rectal spots" trust me, I have tried.. All of the GI disorders I have looked up and researched don't talk about 'spots.'

'Spots' isn't an GI disease... or any disease in fact..

Until I can find a way to get in to have a Specialist look at me and my spots and look within my entire colon for more signs of anything else, or nothing at all, I guess I will keep doing what I've been doing until things are absolutely considerably worse to where I have to be admitted to a hospital and just see how things go..

In the Photo below you will see a long round light bulb tube of a thing.. That is what they used to view the inside of the anal/rectal/mucosa area during the exam.. Of course I had to get a picture for Bloggings sake. What good would this blog be without ALL of the gooey details..

p.s. following this photo is a photo most of you will want to skip... So, this is the end of the line for you!

p.s.s Feel free to share any comments, concerns, or advice you may have now after reading this blog. Just don't ask me any questions because sadly, I do not have any answers.

For those of you who stuck around to view this last photo... Doesn't 5 days of bleeding like THIS seem out of the ordinary to YOU.?? 'Cuz it totally seemed like an out of the ordinary ER worthy problem to me but maybe I'm wrong..??